What's With the Guns?

For the life of me, I just don't get this obsession with guns. You'd think these folks were feeling threatened with use of their cars, or flat screen TVs or -- heaven forbid -- their smartphones. In other words, something useful, even necessary to everyday, modern life. From my experience and observation I just can't see where a gun fits into that practical life. There's seems to be this fear that we'll be threatened by bad guys with guns and have to be prepared with a weapon of our own. So we're all urged by the gun advocates to carry a piece with us, just on that off chance that some nut will come blasting away in the local fast food joint. Really? I have enough trouble remembering everything when I walk out in the morning; umm, car keys; check, wallet; check; cell phone, check and everything for the day. And to this anxiety-riddled list I'm supposed to add a gun? For most of us, keeping track where we're going with what is a trauma of modern life. Furthermore, odds are I could go several lifetimes and never face a situation where I actually needed it. And if I did, the odds are further that the circumstances would make it useless - or that it was used against me.* So guns strike me as an anachronism; kind of like spinning wheels. There was obviously a time when people needed to hunt for their own food, just like there was a time when they needed to make their own clothes. But now we have McDonalds and Target, so we don't need to do either. It's all conveniently processed and shrink-wrapped so we don't have to get our hands bloodied or prick our fingers. Now there are, of course, those who enjoy the murder of animals and who studiously and at great expense plot the blasting of Bambi, ostensibly celebrating our baser nature as carnivorous hunters ourselves. Somehow, in the age of drive-up windows and Giant Foods regression to our neolithic past doesn't strike me as a noble or productive use of one's time or a way to advance 21st century society. But it's their right, so to each his own. Yet we're further told that we all need a six-shooter on our hips -- and an AR-15 under our beds -- to keep the bad 'ol government in check. There might be a 1776-type Tea Party rally of patriots who need to grab our modern day muskets and rush the White House and storm up the Capital steps to go seize those miscreants who were put there by...us. Ironically, this paranoid argument comes from people who seem most dedicated to defense of a Constitution based on elected representation that arguably (but in my humble opinion) does a pretty good job -- warts and all -- of representing some pretty far flung, even bizarre, points of view. So this sounds more like the threats of a disgruntled, sour-grapes minority not happy with the politics of their elected representatives, excuse me; fellow citizens. But don't get me started on internet-fed conspiracies and fanaticism. (calling Alex Jones). Ah, but the right to bear arms is in the Constitution. Well, so was slavery and the election of Senators by state legislatures and the 3rd Amendment prohibiting the quartering of soldiers in private homes (now there's 21st century relevancy!). All as antiquated as the need for a militia, or for that matter, guns as a practical tool of modern living. But let's say we take the suggestion of our gun-toting friends and equip everyone with a gun. Just like the 'ol west of legend. An armed society is a polite society, right? So let's make sure every mom and dad and their teenagers, employer and employees, bartender and customer has a gun on their hip as they negotiate the trials and tribulations of everyday life. Are there any bets we'll see a drop in shootings? But we should be prepared for any and all contingencies, whether it's a pimply faced, bi-polar teenager with a grudge, a rascally Democrat bent on giving me health care or a resurgence of boll weevils. And to that end, we should all defend to the death our right to bear spinning wheels!!